So if you haven't heard that song you should because it's amazing! and i'm listening to it now and it's definitly what i'm feeling right now. So I was in New York with my bestfriend so that's why I didn't have a new post in like 2 days. And when I didn't write it felt like I had SO much building up inside of me and I was on the verge of crashing. So my father ended up coming today. And at first when I heard he was coming in the beginning when he first had said it I took a while thinking about it but then I had said I would go and see him but then he said I disrespected him so then I said no. Well I found out yesterday that he was coming today and I told him that I wasn't going to see him and talk to give because I had given him a chance and he just totally ruined it. So I had to open the door for him today and I said hi but that was it. I went into hiding because all of these emotions were just coming out of me and I just started crying my eyes out and I didn't want to cry in front of him because i'm done with that. So then he kept trying to talk to me and like follow me for answers and I just wanted to scream at him.
I shouldn't be able to put up with his crap anymore. I'm done with that. You've hurt me SO MANY times I don't know how I can forgive you. Everyone is telling me that I should give you a chance but why should I? I've given you almost 17 years of chances and you've just thrown them in my face. I hate you. I'm never going to forgive you. I just can't.
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