Saturday, August 28, 2010

The Silence by Mayday Parade

So if you haven't heard that song you should because it's amazing! and i'm listening to it now and it's definitly what i'm feeling right now. So I was in New York with my bestfriend so that's why I didn't have a new post in like 2 days. And when I didn't write it felt like I had SO much building up inside of me and I was on the verge of crashing. So my father ended up coming today. And at first when I heard he was coming in the beginning when he first had said it I took a while thinking about it but then I had said I would go and see him but then he said I disrespected him so then I said no. Well I found out yesterday that he was coming today and I told him that I wasn't going to see him and talk to give because I had given him a chance and he just totally ruined it. So I had to open the door for him today and I said hi but that was it. I went into hiding because all of these emotions were just coming out of me and I just started crying my eyes out and I didn't want to cry in front of him because i'm done with that. So then he kept trying to talk to me and like follow me for answers and I just wanted to scream at him.

I shouldn't be able to put up with his crap anymore. I'm done with that. You've hurt me SO MANY times I don't know how I can forgive you. Everyone is telling me that I should give you a chance but why should I? I've given you almost 17 years of chances and you've just thrown them in my face. I hate you. I'm never going to forgive you. I just can't.

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