I care too much.

My grandma called me today to talk to me about my father. I didn't want her to hear me crying on the phone but she still did. Which made me cry harder. I told them I would come out to visit them for thanksgiving but only for my sister and to see my grandparents cause they care. But my dad had told them that I was just going to stay with him. Why would I stay with him if I don't feel comfortable with him? So I had to tell them that I still feel uncomfortable with him so hopefully i'm going to stay with them. If not, I'm just going to be take me back to the airport cause I'm going home.

I think I need to go see a therapist. Maybe that will help me because I feel like i'm getting worse. Though sometimes I feel like my mom sees me upset and doesn't do anything or she just yells at me. Like earlier. Obviously i'm the black sheep of my family. It just sucks.