why?

Why are people coming back in my life that I pushed out for a reason? Like my dad, my grandma, and my ex. There is a reason I put you in my past and forgot about you. I'm looking towards the future and forgetting about my past so I can get over the hurtful things people put me through. Everything is stressing me out lately because all these people are coming back in my life. I mean i'm already thinking about college and the stuff my mom wants me to do, plus I got A LOAD of homework that i'm way behind on, I can't get this person out of my head no matter what I do. I think i'm in love with my bestfriend and I wanna find out if he likes me too because we always talk about going out and all this stuff but like I don't know. I got my friends not remembering my birthday and having to find out through facebook and all this other crap. It's like I give so much to people who give me so little. People put me second when I put them first.

Why is everything so hard right now? I'm trying to push through keep my smile on my face so I can get through the days but it's getting harder and harder. No matter what I do to try to make everything seem better somebody or something just puts me down. Nobody knows the real me. I wish I could tell someone so at least I have someone to talk to about it. But I'm afraid once I tell them the real me they will run away. Because it seems like everytime I get really close with someone they end up leaving and running away. Is it me? Did I do something wrong?